Who Are You ?

“Who am I?” You’ve asked yourself this question probably more than once. And the chances are you still don’t know even if you think you’ve found the correct answer. Let me share with you some comments on this subject.

Nine months before coming into this world you were just a tiny little sperm among 200 million others. Then what happened? You were the fastest, the strongest, the quickest of them all! You became the winner in a race where 200 million others were competing for the first place. You were the one who made it! Nine months later you were born. You were a tiny helpless infant who had to depend on others for survival. You had to be fed, cleaned, protected, and looked after. At the age of two you had already realized that you couldn’t survive without the life giving support of people (means parents). You would go hungry and die without them. You knew nothing, they seemed to know everything. You couldn’t walk properly, couldn’t open doors by yourself, couldn’t even communicate with others. You felt little and inferior compared to these superior being. You learnt to depend on them without questioning their actions. You had to seek their approval and please them, otherwise they would punish you. They seemed to have all the answers, while you were still trying to figure out things for yourself. In most matters you have learnt to accept their judgment.

“Don’t do that!”
“You are careless!”
“You are clumsy!”
“You are stupid!”
“You are wrong!”
“You’ll never learn!”

Bombarded daily by hundreds of directives telling you what’s right and what’s wrong, you were being programmed constantly, you felt inadequate and inferior in relation to grown-up people more and more every day. At the age of three your logic has already decided, and you have accepted this fact as a matter of course: “I am not okay. They are okay.” From this moment all your actions were directed and controlled by the following beliefs:

“The others know better…”
“I can’t trust my judgment”
“I must have their approval”
“Tell me what to do…”
“I can’t decide for myself”

Everybody without exception goes through this childhood experience. And for most of us this inadequate self-image is fixed as the guideline for the rest of our lives. All decisions and actions are decided on from this point of view: “I am not okay, they are okay”. Needless to say it’s a negative attitude and the result is a constant felling of insecurity and inferiority. No doubt, the intention of your parents was good, but they themselves probably lacked the knowledge and understanding of these facts. They have unwillingly and unknowingly programmed you for failure. Just as a matter of curiosity I would suggest that you ask your mother and father if they ever read a book about child psychology on the subject of bringing up children. The chances are that you were brought up through up through guess-work and not scientific know how.

Now, as a grown-up person you have two alternatives:

1. Go on living for the rest of your life just the way you lived until now. But then you shouldn’t complain….. You’ll be blessed with the mediocre existence you deserve. You will never know what true happiness and peace of mind is. You’ll be classified as one of the born loser of your generation.
2. Continue with the performance that you have displayed in the 200 millions race. Go on with the miracle of being a winner, in spite of all the negative influences that you experienced during your childhood.

Now you know and understand, these facts of life, but are you willing to change? If you are, then decide: “I am okay, I am a winner” Make this conscious decision and your reward will be a new life.

Antien